


Waiting

by perhapsaperson



Series: Holiday advent challenge 2019 [9]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Stargate, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, time and place kept ambiguous because I didn't wanna do research
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perhapsaperson/pseuds/perhapsaperson
Summary: Daniel waits in the store, trying not to watch the door. Trying to pretend he's not waiting for someone.Holiday advent challenge day 9, prompt: blizzard
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jonas Quinn
Series: Holiday advent challenge 2019 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566133
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> I have fallen into rare pair hell someone help me. Also, I have not read the book mentioned in this fic, so sorry for any inaccuracies

Daniel sits behind the counter, acutely aware of the door.

He tries to pretend he’s not, of course. He has a monthly expense spreadsheet open in front of him, and tries to convince himself that his full attention is devoted to that. He goes through the lines, mentally adding up costs and amounts, more slowly than usual, but every few seconds his eyes flick back up to the door.

It’s miserable outside, but that’s par for the course these days. Daniel thought he knew what cold was, before he moved up here, but he’d been completely unprepared for the northern winters. The kind of cold where you step outside, breathe in, and cough because it’s such a shock to your lungs. The kind of cold that stings your skin and seeps into your bones, refusing to go away for way too long after you’re back in your warm house.

Worse than the cold, though, is the darkness. The sun sets earlier and rises later in the winter, of course, Daniel was well aware of that. This though, watching the sun set at three pm, stepping outside to total darkness at four in the goddamned afternoon, this was just ridiculous. 

It’s been especially bad, these last few days. They’ve nearly reached the longest night of the year, now, and the weather’s been especially crappy, with record breaking cold and snowfall.

It’s the holiday season, too, but despite that it seems like the gloom and melancholy is everywhere, affecting everyone Daniel knows. Especially affecting Daniel himself, who’s not quite used to it, and isn’t yet sure if this is something you get used to at all.

There is one thing, though. Jonas comes by the store every day. Jonas, the one thing in Daniel’s life that doesn’t seem wrapped up in the gloomy mood that had settled over the city like smog. He walks in here every day, and he smiles, and he has such a nice smile. He stays a few minutes, every day, and he’s upbeat and sweet and it improves Daniel’s mood more than he’d care to admit.

So, maybe Daniel looks forward to his visits. But not more so than is normal, for a friend. He’s not staring at the door, he tells himself, even as he fights to look away.

When he does finally spot Jonas outside, approaching the store, he fixes his eyes on the spreadsheet in front of him and keeps them there as Jonas enters the store. He finally looks up when Jonas greets him and hops up to sit on the counter.

“I told you not to do that,” Daniel scolds. “Makes people uncomfortable.”

“What, all your hundreds of customers?” Jonas says, gesturing around the empty store with a good natured smile.

“Maybe there’d be more if you weren’t scaring them off with your wildly casual behaviour[],” he says.

Jonas laughs, and Daniel feels a tug in his chest. 

“No coffee?” He asks. Jonas brings him coffee, sometimes, when he comes. Other little things, too. The gesture is not lost on Daniel.

“Not today, sorry,” Jonas says.

“Why do I keep you around, if not for the coffee?”

“The stimulating conversation?” He says, the bright smile hasn’t left his lips.

“Hm,” Daniel says, looking him over skeptically. “I think you’re overestimating yourself.”

Jonas laughs again, and Daniel feels himself smiling, like Jonas’s good nature is infectious. He looks away.

He’s not gonna say that Jonas’s visits, his relentless upbeat attitude and unfailing sincerity, is about the only thing keeping Daniel sane these days. That Jonas’s visits to the store are about the best part of his day.

He just waits for Jonas every day, pretending not to be waiting, and when he’s here, wearing a smile that warm the whole city, Daniel teases and pretends to be annoyed, and when he leaves Daniel feels a drop in his chest and wishes he could stay longer. That’s just how they are, what they do. There’s nothing else to do.

\- - -

Things seem to get worse, the next few days. There are warnings for winter storms all over the news, the snow comes down so thick over the city that Daniel can hardly walk through the streets.

Jonas is still there, though, at his store every day, with some sort of warm drink. To help fight the cold, he says. Daniel’s not fooled.

Today, though, it comes down harder than before. It’s a proper blizzard, now, and the activity in the city has all but ground to a halt. Roads are closing, and there are power outages going around. They haven’t hit the store yet, but with Daniel’s luck they will any second.

It’s miserable, and Daniel could hardly have been bothered to walk the two blocks between his house and the store. His boss wouldn't have minded, he’s sure, it’s not like they were gonna get a lot of customers in this weather. The only reason Daniel’s here is that if he were home, he’d have even less to do than he does here. At least, that’s the excuse he gave himself, but he can’t deny the fact that his eyes keep drifting over to the door.

He’s not expecting Jonas to come, of course. Most people wouldn’t even go outside, right now, and the busses have stopped, and it’s a long walk from his place here. He’d have no real reason to come here today, it’s not as if his daily visits were some sort of formal arrangement. 

Anyway, it’s late now, way past the time he’d usually have been here, way past the time he’d have left. Daniel occupies himself with rearranging the books in the back of the room and tries not to be disappointed.

Despite all his rationalizing, the moment he hears the bell ring over the front door, his heart jumps, and he rushes out to the front of the store. His eagerness betrays everything he was trying to hide from himself.

Jonas is there, somehow, in the doorway with cheeks flushed and snow in his hair. 

“Hey,” he says, grinning, same as usual.

“What are you doing here?”

He just shrugs. “Just wanted to stop by.”

“You should be careful,” Daniel admonishes. “It’s really coming down out there. They say it could be the storm of the century.”

“Not so bad,” he says.

“They stopped the busses.”

“It’s good to take a walk.”

“In a blizzard?” Daniel says, and his tone is light but his implications are not. Jonas glances away.

“Oh, I uh, brought you something,” he says after a moment.

Daniel perks up, curious. “What for?”

He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small package, carefully wrapped in shiny paper, tied with a near little ribbon.

“What is it?” Daniel asks, taking the package.

“It’s nothing,” Jonas says, suddenly uncertain, self conscious. “Just - you know, since it’s almost the holidays.”

Daniel tears through the wrapping paper to find a well worn book. Anne Carson, Eros the Bittersweet. He feels a pang of - something. Too much.

“This is - not nothing,” he says softly.

Jonas shrugs, still uncertain. “I just - I saw it at the used book place, and you said you really liked it and that you never had a copy -”

“It’s really nice,” Daniel says, cutting off his nervous rambling. “Thank you.”

Jonas smiles gently. “I read it.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, before I gave it to you,” he says. “You said it was a good read, so.”

“Did - did you like it?”

“I loved it,” he says. “It was beautiful. Very - Really emotional experience.”

Daniel gives him a fond half-smile. “It was the same for me.”

He flips the book open. On the inside cover, someone had written, in neat, loopy handwriting, To Clara, with love. Next to that, in different, smaller handwriting, “we broke up :(”. Daniel huffs a laugh, though he feels a little bad.

Underneath that, Jonas has written his own note. To Daniel - Thank you. Underneath he’s signed his name. It’s simple, almost nothing really, but Daniel still feels his chest tighten as he reads it. He looks back up at Jonas with a soft smile. Jonas is watching him, with an expression Daniel can’t quite decipher, but which makes him feel something nonetheless.

“I should - I should be going,” he says. 

“You could stay a while,” Daniel says, probably too fast. “It’s pretty nasty out there.”

Jonas smiles again, a little sadly. “If I stay now, I might never leave.” His tone is almost playful, but almost something else entirely.

Maybe that’s the point, Daniel thinks but doesn’t say. “You’re right,” is what he does say. “Better not put it off longer than you need too.”

“Right,” he says, smiling again. “Gotta go back out there sometime. May as well get it over with.”

He walks to the door. “Jonas,” Daniel says, before he opens it. Jonas turns back to him, and for a moment, Daniel almost thinks he might be brave enough to say everything he knows he’s feeling.

But he hesitates, and the moment is gone. “Stay safe out there. And thanks. For the book.”

Jonas smiles fondly. “It was nothing.” Then he’s gone, back out into the blizzard.

Daniel hovers for a moment after he leaves, then heads back to the counter and opens up the book.

There are annotations in some places, little notes and underlined passages, courtesy of the previous owners. Like distant, intimate pieces of the lives of people he would never meet, and maybe one he had. He can’t help smiling at the thought.

He flips through the book with practiced ease to a particular page. He skims through it, taking in the familiar words.

There’s a few lines in it underlined, then circled several times. They read, When I desire you a part of me is gone: your lack is my lack. 

Daniel feels a twist in his gut. It’s always been one of his favourite lines, and right now it hits especially close to home. He looks up from the book, out into the snowstorm, and wonders who highlighted those lines.

It could’ve been him. He read the book, he said. And he liked it. It could’ve been someone else, though; could’ve been any number of previous owners. Maybe that was the point, anyway - ambiguity. Plausible deniability.

He runs his finger over the passage. He feels it, maybe more than any other time he’d read it; it pounds in his chest and courses through his body, paradoxically painful and wonderful. He should stop trying to deny himself, stop denying what’s become obvious, at least to himself.

He’s in love with Jonas. He’s sure of that, by now, and it’s buzzing inside of him, begging to be known, and Jonas may even feel the same way. But he’s not gonna say anything. He’ll just keep waiting, watching the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I love them. That is all


End file.
